Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
