I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
