woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
