Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
