it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
