he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Randomize
