Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
