four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
