they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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