where am i from again
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
