I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
