Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
