If i come over, it means nothing
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
