I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize
