I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize