I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Such a big mess for such a small penis
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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