hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Randomize
