I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Randomize
