You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My cat gives me a boner
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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