dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
