Your mouth is God's brothel.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
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