I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
