doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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