Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
