I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize