I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
