We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
