It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
