I only kidnapped one of them. chill
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
