i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
