she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
