i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
You smell like a Billy Joel song
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
