I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
