When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize