is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
