The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
