u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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