I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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