one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
