We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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