the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
