Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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