I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
