is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
