marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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