just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Randomize
