I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
We had to coat check the pizza.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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