was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Randomize
