Is it normal to miss your booty call?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
