How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
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