so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Randomize
