I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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