Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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