Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
I think we might need a safe word for this...
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