so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize