He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
