i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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