that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
My Higher Power is John Stamos
i just sent this text using only my big toe
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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