she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
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