Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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