Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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